My Morning Un-Routine and the "Ideal Day"
"Write out your ideal day." they'd say.
I'd be all excited and inspired to sit down and write out my true ideal day in the belief that writing it out will manifest it all into my life with more ease than the way most of us were brought up with (that's the efforting way for those curious).
All I have to do is write down what I want to do all day? That's easy you say?.
As my husband would say with his favorite word,
Have you tried it? Like really tried to dial into how you wish to live in the future? I've done this exercise over the years and each time I never quite get to the end my day. As I begin to write I start getting hit with pressure. Pressure I put on myself to have the perfect day. Very quickly I realize I don't have time to fit in everything I wish to do.
Here's my typical path as I begin.
I wake up to a sunrise in the king sized bed in our dream home in the woods. The sheets are as soft and fluffy as I imagine clouds are. My husband, Matt, is beside me. He + the king sized bed are the only things real in my current reality. I decided to have both stick around in my future one ;)
This part I knew for sure, but from there I want to add in a salt aromatherapy bath to wake up, but I also want to meditate in my garden meditation room. Hold up. Do I have kids? I mean I don't have kids now, but if I think I want them then I should probably add something about them in there, right?
And how about sipping coffee out on the patio and doing some stretching and then journaling?
This is where I felt I had to make decisions and really know exactly what I wished to do and when. I didn't realize how rigid my thinking was surrounding this exercise. No wonder I felt tired by 11AM in this ideal day and could rarely make it past 2PM.
I seriously didn't realize this block of mine until today when I was responding to a FB post asking about our current morning routines. Hence the inspiration for this post!
I've never been much for routine.
I rebelled against routine and conformity as best I could in high school and in my early 20s. I moved around a lot in this time period in search of something better (I was too young to realize most times I was running away from myself and after time I caught up with me). I never ordered the same kind of espresso drink, never ate the same meal over and over, go to the same place for lunch. You get the idea.
As I got in my 30s I started appreciating having routine things in my life. As I'm approaching my 37th year I like it even more though I still like to vary it up now and then.
I got in my own way trying to create that one perfect morning routine that is spiritual, grounding, connecting, energizing while being aspirational. Like my life would be fan-fucking-tastic level awesome.
If I did everything I wanted to each and every morning it would take up 3-4 hours of my day. Of solo time needed to myself.
Granted some days I do take this much time to myself. A couple weekends a month I do this and it's essential for my introverted self. However daily would be too much for me as it would cease to less of a treat. There are some mornings where I'm just raring to get a jump on things.
This is currently similar to my work in establishing a morning routine in my current reality. I try and fit in a lot. There's a lot I wish to do and that I know helps me in managing my mind. If I don't meditate or take time to slowly move about and wake up then I start getting hard on myself that I'm not doing it "right".
I'm realizing it's okay for me to change it up a bit. I have the power to give myself permission to change my morning routine. To instead make it my morning rituals that vary depending on the day and my mood.
Instead of focusing on specific activities I focus on how I wish to feel. Many different activities could illicit the same feeling so why limit myself? I can vary it up and if I skip a day or so that is okay. And nixing the word "routine" from it all together!
My current morning rituals. Some on this list are base items I do each day, while others are ones done only at random. The feelings I strive for are alignment, flow, ease. I want to be appreciating my life and the world and go about my day in that state. This sounds much more enjoyable than going from 0-60 and rushing to start my day.
I wake up slowly and lay in bed an extra 20 minutes or so. I allow thoughts to come and go or I go over my dreams. I see this as a form of meditation and the one I've been gravitating towards in the approaching winter months. My mind wants to jump to my day ahead, but I won't let it yet. It's ME time.
I've started the slow wakeup morning last month and it's made me much more aligned in the mornings. I still have days that I check my phone first thing too and head over to Insta and FB. Luckily those days are less frequent as I notice they put me in consumption go mode.
After I lounge in bed I get up and put the coffee on in the french press. Sometimes the coffee is switched out for blueberry roobios tea (my current fave). While it's brewing I do the basic hygiene stuff. Pee, brush my teeth, maybe brush my hair, wash my face, put in my contacts. After this I drink water, take my flower essences. I might pull a medicine card from my deck and meditate on the meaning of the card. Side note - I've had this deck since I was 14 and it's been my one and only ever since so if you feel a pull to these I recommend you check them out!
This week I've been taking 20 to 30 minutes to do mindset work. It involved unearthing fears around a current goal I'm manifesting and often I will do EFT. I've found this really boosts my morning and so I'll be keeping this work around as a daily practice until it no longer serves me and something different does. Another thing that really adds a kick to my step is taking 12 minutes and curling waves into my hair. The bounce in my hair also adds a bounce to my energy.
That's about it right now. In the past there have been kundalini meditation practices and journaling. I'd like to get back to longer meditations again soon. Also I could stand to add more movement into my morning.
Overall I call it a successful morning when I feel connected to my inner self, grounded, and aligned. When I allow myself time to emerge into the world and not feel hurried. How I get to these states doesn't matter so long as I get there. Some days I won't get there and that's okay. So long as I do my best and let go of the rest while listening to my intuition I will be just fine.
Now let's talk about you. Did you gain any insights into your own morning routine from reading this? What's your current fave morning ritual and how does it make you feel? Please share with me here in the comments or head on over to Mining for Soul on Instagram and shoot me a DM or comment there.
squash those doubts, start trusting yourself.
Do you get frustrated with constant up and down moods? Feeling pumped and confident one day only to find yourself wanting to do nothing the next? Do you constantly lambast yourself for being in this low energy place?
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